So Megan Fox had her baby with David, the douchebag from “Beverly Hills 90210.” I forgot that Megan Fox was pregnant…mainly because I forgot about Megan Fox. She doesn’t matter. She barely exists. She was overhyped for a minute, and thanks to an overbearing, jealous boyfriend who convinced her he was the only man who would ever love her, coupled with her bad attitude and non-nude acting roles (even though all we ever wanted from her plastic surgery-produced face is fucking nudity), she is already a has-been.
Her baby—Noah Shannon Green—spawn of David from “90210” who I like to think ruined everything there is about Megan Fox, was born September 27 and I predict that baby will be hated by her remaining fans who have trouble getting over pussy in movies they never met but liked looking at. Yes, these virgin loser nerds will hate that baby for turning his mother into a shitty-bodied pig loose vagina, trying desperately to bounce back from the hell she created for herself.
But I am an optimist, eager for her post-partum depression, her resentment for her husband, and her comeback tour that this time will involve being naked, because as women get older, the trips to the gynecologist is less a thing about being shy, and more a thing about getting a cheap thrill, just hoping someone other than their husband gets wrist deep…
All this to say, who cares about Megan Fox? Who cares about the garbage her uterus shat out, or her comeback? She doesn’t matter. She’s old news. She’s officially fallen off. Let this be our goodbye. GOODBYE.
Here’s a bunch of pics of her…to celebrate what once was. I’m ready to move on…
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