I spent a solid four hours in a bar last night trying to convince this one really decent looking college girl (who was probably new in town as she was alone at a pretty shitty bar because she didn’t know any better) to let me take nude pictures of her for an art project I was working on.
I tried all the angles, from promises of stardom and fame, to bullshit art fag rationale you hear when idiots spend too much time analyzing something that wasn’t supposed to be analyzed in the first place. I told her shit like “your body reminded me of the possibility of a brighter tomorrow” or shit like “your natural beauty brings hope in this culturally void, sleazy and disgusting society because it reminds us that something so pure and beautiful can exist.”
I said shit like “I was inspired by you” and pulled every possible trick I have learned in the years of trying to get girls naked and really didn’t hold back on making myself look like a total asshole. I was making moves. I saw in her eye that she was about to bite but then I must have pushed shit too far because she ended up going home with the bass player in the house band who she had met 5 minutes earlier, reminding me that I suck at life…
With all that work gone to waste, I decided to try it on some homeless woman, but she just answered in a series of yelps, beeps and grunts that I think translated into “I’m fucking crazy, I will bite your fucking dick off if you don’t give me money,” which scared me nicely and saved me from having to try to scrub the smell off her rancid homeless cunt out of my couch.
Here’s a topless Alice Goodwin showing us some tits and ass action. Enjoy, pervs!
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