Natalie Portman brought her mom body out in a bikini and I know what you’re thinking...women are disgusting as fuck after giving birth, especially in their panties, from all the pushing and prodding and passing of a creepy living thing out of their glorious vaginas, while ravaging not only their genitals, but stomachs as well, making a girl never quite the same…even if she tries to bounce back, because now she comes with an annoying-as-fuck baggage and no matter how many sit-ups she does, that shit just doesn’t disappear…but what does disappear is the boner of their husbands as they move on to younger, more fertile versions of the woman they married who has become a shell of her former self…a shell that in Natalie Portman’s case still has a lot of money to finance a lot of fun. That makes her shitty mom body almost respectable, especially to her fan base that are geeks and Star Wars nerds who love her even when she was just an action figure they would occasionally shove up their ass while jerking off. True story.
But I think she looks lovely, because I see beauty in everything…especially procreation. It is God’s plan for us.
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