Robert Pattinson Hates Twilight More Than You Ever Will

Much like the majority of the population over the age of 14, Robert Pattinson has always been very vocal about how he thinks the Twilight Saga is an awful, awful mess of a series, even more so as the movies wound down to their (thankfully) inevitable conclusion.

And now we have irrevocable video proof of such.

One intrepid YouTuber put together a compilation of Pattinson’s most hilarious put-downs about the wretched series that took him from drooled-over wizard to drooled-over vampire, and we’ve included some of the more worthy quotes below—including his thoughts on his salary, his feelings about the moniker R-Patz, and his very favorite co-star (it’s not who you might think).

Based on the somehow popular Twilight book series of the same name, which Pattinson had to read (he should’ve gotten hazard pay for that alone), the actor couldn’t help but think that Stephenie Meyer’s series “seemed like a book that wasn’t supposed to be published.”

“I was convinced that Stephanie was convinced she was Bella,” he wisely observed. “It’s like, this woman is mad.”

Regarding Edward (who was easy to play thanks solely to his vampire contact lenses), Pattinson is of the belief that if the character existed as a regular person in real life, “You can tell he’s just gonna freak out one day and shoot someone. He’s one of those guys who would be like an ax murderer.”

As for Bella, Pattinson said it’s incredulous that despite dating someone who repeatedly tells her he thinks about killing her, she wants to be with him anyway. “She’s like, ‘I don’t care. I love you.’ Well, there’s definitely something wrong with her.”

Yes. That.

In addition to all these jabs at the characters, Pattinson says that his pay “could’ve been better,” and that his most favored co-star was…a line of moisturizers he liked. Let your imagination run wild with that.

Pattinson also details the most ridiculous part of the series, when in “Breaking Dawn: Part 1,” he had to Google “vampire babies” to learn more about Bella’s pregnancy: “Really? We’re all like 300-year-old geniuses, and then it’s like ‘vampire babies’ on Google Images.”

Finally, in response to the anonymous person who gave him the nickname R-Patz: “I would like to break the hands and mouth of the person who came up with it.” 

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Top 10 Timeless Words of Wisdom from Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius was born in AD 121. He was the last of the Five Good Emperors, and is also considered one of the most important members of the Stoic philosophers.

Marcus Aurelius’ tome “Meditations,” is still revered as a literary monument to a philosophy of service and duty, describing how to find and preserve equanimity in the midst of conflict by following nature as a source of guidance and inspiration.

1. Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.

2. Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

3. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

4. You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

5. Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

6. Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

7. Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.

8. When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.

9. It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

10. If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it. 

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Awesome Jean-Claude Van Damme Quotes

Martial artist, movie star…philosopher? Yes, Jean-Claude Van Damme can sprout poetry while crushing a man’s skull with his bare hands. 

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Top 5 Movies Where Nicolas Cage Totally Loses His SHIT!!!

Nicolas Cage is THE MAN!

Even in bad movies, the man can act. Whether you’re a fan or not, you cannot deny that the man has acting chops. Do I think he does things just for a paycheck? Hell yes! “Gone in 60 Seconds” and “National Treasure” are key examples of this. But when he’s doing a not-so-mainstream film, he goes batshit CRAZY!  Hell, the best part of the original “Ghost Rider” was the transformation scenes—other than that, the movie was sub-par. But for pure Cage- going-nutso goodness, you have to catch these films:

5. Vampire’s Kiss (1988)

Probably the first film that Cage went CRAZY!  His turn as a publishing executive who is “turned” into a vampire is one of the most peculiar performances of his career. He actually ate a live cockroach, for crying out loud! This whole film is basically one big freak-out from Cage.

4. Kiss of Death (1995)

You would think that a film would be nutball heaven with Cage AND Samuel L. Jackson in it, but no. Jackson plays the straight cop while Cage plays the psychotic mobster “Little” Junior Brown. Cage gets to go all out in this and is genuinely threatening. The scene of him using a stripper for weightlifting prposes is classic as well as hilarious.

3. Ghost Rider:  Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Like I said earlier, the best parts of the original “Ghost Rider” were the transformation scenes. Well, in “Spirit of Vengeance,” these scenes are AMPED to 13! 

2. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call, New Orleans (2009)

Cage: “SHOOT HIM AGAIN!!”  Thug: “Why?”  Cage: “HIS SOUL IS STILL DANCING!” This statement pretty much a microcosm of this wacko film. Some of the best Cage-outs ever are in this film, especially with the two elderly ladies.

1. Deadfall (1993)

WARNING: This film is TERRIBLE! But the cast is fantastic and makes the film watchable, Cage in particular.  Cage as two-bit hustler Eddie, whose drug addicted rages make this ENTIRE film the greatest Cage freak-out ever!  Whenever he is on screen, he is psychotic and unpredictable, not to mention a babbling incoherent mess.

Honorable mention: The Wicker Man

If you have seen it, you know why it should be mentioned. If you haven’t seen it, watch it and have a chuckle.

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Rihanna Sluts Out for Free on Instagram

Rihanna is amazing, but not because she was posting prayers for Chris Brown who is famous for beating her. She’s either insane or a woman of the church who believes we are all God’s children and we must forgive like Jesus did. 

Based on the slutty pics she produces celebrating the fact that she is God’s child, I figure Rihanna’s likely just insane…unless you don’t think sympathizing with your abuser is insane, because love can move mountains, all you need is love, love is a wonderful thing...

Rihanna is amazing because she produces pictures like this for the Internet for free when she doesn’t fucking have to. She’s rich and this is not necessary like it is for all the other whores. It is pure genius…in a totally primal, non-intellectual, genius kind of way.

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